10 Ways to deal with breakups and move on

(Last Updated On: November 21, 2012)

Breakups are painful and the agony which an individual undergoes after suffering a painful setback in the relationship is even harder. Feelings and emotions are an uncharted territory and for some, overcoming the grief of separating from a loved one may seem impossible.


However, breakups don’t signal the end of life but can be taken as an indication of the blossoming of new relationships. Whichever way you may want to consider it, the fact is, you need to move on and you cannot stick to the past. Don’t keep listening to Avril’s “My happy ending” and regretting the past. Instead give a new turn to your life.

Here are ten tips to help you breathe free once again:

Stop mulling over your decision

If you wanted to part ways with your mate and you are finally done with it, then do not think over it again. Often you might be bombarded with thoughts like, “What if he had ended it?” or “What if I had never wanted to call off the relationship” and likewise. Rather you should accept the decision and move on. Second-guessing the situation will only make matters worse and you will always be haunted by a “what-if”!

Frame a list

Instead of recalling all the good moments and shedding tears, jot down all the reasons as to why your ex wasn’t meant for you. Whenever you feel weak or ponder over what your ex might be doing at the moment or consider getting back to him/her, bring the list and reflect whether you would want to get entangled in such emotions again! This will help you in moving on.

Learn your lessons

A harsh but a positive aspect of breakups is that you get to know about what you need to change yourself. Whether the breakup was a result of your partner’s mistake or yours, you get a lot of time to contemplate and transform yourself into a better person. This helps in sowing the seeds for healthy relationships in the future.

Time will do all the miracles

Someone has rightly said that time heals all your wounds. Give yourself time to recover and put away everything which will hurt you all the more. Do not cling to your lover’s photo and cry for something that cannot be undone. If you want to cry, do it for the sake of feeling lighter and not to bring someone back.

Smile and let go

Do not keep old mementos, photographs and gifts, which will simply add to your woes. Put them away and dispose of everything which reminds you of the past. Storing them will simply add to the negativity around you and you will feel even more nostalgic. The feeling of getting back will get stronger and it will be all the more painful.

Develop a hobby

Someone has rightly said “when life gives you scraps, make something with them”. So what’s your pick from gardening, music, designing, reading, dancing and countless other activities which you can do? Of course, you might be fond of something, isn’t it? Identify your forte and work on it. Such activities will keep you engrossed and with time, you will feel calm and relaxed.

Talk to your loved ones

Why are breakups so painful? Why do we feel that the world has turned upside down? Because people tend to restrict their lives to a particular person. There is so much more to it and you cannot forget your loved ones and friends who are standing by your side in your rough phase. You just need to look around and talk to those who love you and support you in all the way they can. Spend time with your family, go out with friends and it becomes even easier.

Stay busy

Stay as active as you can and do plenty of exercise. This will help in bringing a lot of positivity and keeping depression at bay. Visit your nearest gym and go for work outs, this will trigger your endorphins leaving you happy.

Date new people

Once you have give sufficient time to yourself, you can start meeting new people or in simple terms, start dating once again. So if you wanted to date the girl next door, you have the chance now! However, do not rush to start a new relationship as you might take some hasty and wrong decisions in the swirl of emotions and maybe up against another emotional turmoil. So give yourself sufficient time and get involved in the dating game, no serious business!

Stay away from alcohol or drugs

Generally people resort to drugs or alcohol to forget their grief as they may call it. Do you think you are too weak to resort to such measures for temporary satisfaction? Instead switch to healthier ways and channelize your energy in positive aspects.

Do not look back and instead think about the choices you have to make in the future. You should be glad that it’s over and you have a chance to get involved in fruitful and better relationships. Struggle, smile and stay!