What the f**k are you doing on Facebook?

(Last Updated On: July 17, 2013)

There are two kinds of people in the world today. The ones who’re facebook addicted, and the one’s who’re uncool. Now, don’t argue about the addiction part. 99% of facebook users don’t accept that they’re addicted.

Because it’s a fact, and facts always irk people. If you’re on Facebook, you’re an addict. You might fall into one of the categories though.

Mild, Casual, Strong & Painful.

Some people believe that facebook is modern day evil. Lucipher’s child.

Because, evil people love facebook. Its apparently the best tool they could’ve ever imagined. Most powerful weapons of the world are stealth, and so is facebook.

It appears very casual fun kind, but beneath the layers lay the hidden evil. The people who actually make use of facebook. Hidden agenda.


They befriend people, mostly the other sex. And that is the plan. They get their fun from lurking around strangers photos. Stealth to the core.


They fake their identities. Even create a whole timeline back from 1990s about who they are. They work in respectable positions (obviously fake), hang out with fun people ( noticeably fake), and befriend celebrities (fake, fake, fake!).

Why? To make you look like a fool.

Ass Holes.

They have a problem with their lives, mostly many. But they don’t fix it. They befriend people on facebook and throw shit on them. Hate speech, problems with your neighbor.

Why you should hate Lady Gaga, why Obama is actually Osama in disguise – these are some of the things they enjoy debating.

Not trying to say that you’re one among the above. No. There is this vast majority including you and me, who are the On Lookers.

Lazy folks.

They have no clue why they are on Facebook, they exist because they do. They are the ones, who get to eat all the shit people throw. They do it with class, gladly, not realizing what they’re at.

But why? Why is Facebook addictive like it is?

There seems to be a secret element behind all successful brands.

McDonald’s, KFC, Pepsi. Lay’s, Weed, Facebook.

1. They’re easily available.

I’d rephrase it to plenty. Painfully plenty.

They’re so much around you that you cannot ignore them. You know that KFC makes you sick.

But you post a PeTA video on Facebook and at the same time have their finger crisps.

Because, if you ignore it, the media brands you as “uncool”.

See, you don’t even like reading about it. Hence proved.

2. They’re addictive like sex.

I’d have liked to say “like charity”. But charity is not addictive, you do it to show off. They’re addictive like the evil things in life are. Weed (semi-evil), alcohol, mayonnaise, sex!

You get the point.

Every time you go to facebook and share that video, its like a “mating call”. And then, you’re friends like it, chew it, post it…you get an almost orgasm. Everybody does.

But why do you share stuff on Facebook? I mean, come on…just look at it. Imagine you’re out of facebook and then you see these kids share silly stuff on facebook, like a picture of your toe, your hair spray, your nail polish, your cat, your knickers, your self shot photos! I mean, why?

Self shots are devil created. Period. The only reason why you would do it is, because you’re suffering from low self-esteem. You’re making your friends forcefully like you by posting that shit.

And mind you, those guys/gals who liked them are only doing it because they’d like it reciprocated. If you don’t, then fuck you – who wants to see your instagram toe nails shot?

Not even your mom.

But as I mentioned earlier, people do it for fun, for self satisfaction.

If you’ve ever smoked pot, you’d know how satisfying it is, no matter what other’s say. Glamorous toe nail shots? Fuck yeah! But some people can be ridiculously entertaining and dumb at the same time on Facebook.

Girls with “duck faces” – Dumb




       Stupid gang signs – Fucking retarded! I mean, we like it when these guys do it.


Or when this guy does it.


But these….? facebook-6


If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t fucking do it. Its NOT cool.

Use text language. Like what the fuck, dude? Are you a 21 year old or what?

juz bck aftr a wild d8 wid dis gorgeous gurl, da gurl of ma dreamz.. hey becca, you da bitch!

I mean, how hard is it to write in English?

Know who your friends!

Status updates are called status updates for a reason. Well, its your life, you can do whatever you want but…remember, everyone’s listening, unless you’re a smartass and have your privacy settings perfect.


If you’re stupid, don’t pretend.


 Facebook isn’t a private chat for God sake. 


Everybody’ has the right to make a fool out of themselves. Some fail, some slip through, some do it good. While some, do it exceptionally well. To see them all, hop on to Facebook.